Tonight, I set my keys in Harper’s carseat while strapping her in. Without thinking, I closed the door.
Mere milliseconds pass before I realize that SHE is in control of the lock button, and I am on the WRONG end of this transaction. I lunge for the door, but homegirl beats me to punch. Locked out. Kids inside.
I call Chris and ask him where the spare keys are. He tells me he left them in the console– which he NEVER DOES. In the car. Where the kids are. I hang up and drop a few bad words. Deep breath.
Liam, behind the window: “Mommy, are we stuck in here?”
Me: (Deep breath. Smile. Do not act alarmed) “No, honey. Unbuckle yourself and grab the keys from your sister. Then hold them up to the window, and I’ll show you which button to press, OK?”
**Liam unbuckles. But Harper sees him coming, presses the PANIC BUTTON and chucks the aforementioned car keys under the front seat. ALARM IS NOW BLARING, horn is honking, lights are flashing. In the garage. Amplified.**
Me: (Gesturing like a madwoman) “Liam! Go to the front seat! Find the button on the door with a picture of a lock!!”
Liam cups a hand around his ear and shrugs. He can’t hear me over the alarm, and he doesn’t seem to care. Then, he ducks down and starts digging through his little basket of toys. I am about to Lose. My. Mind. “Liam! This is NOT FUNNY! What are you doing?! Get up here!!” (Still digging through the toys) Liam! If you don’t get up, you could be stuck in the car FOREVER!” (Not my finest parenting moment, but a mom’s gotta do what a mom’s gotta do, right?)
After several minutes of this, he pops up in the front seat. He is now wearing a Batman mask.
He calmly unlocks the door.
“I knew Batman could save the day, so I had to find my mask, first,” he tells me, as though it’s the most obvious, logical explanation in the world.
Silly me. Of course.
Well-done, Batman. Well-done